托福寫作中注意細節，細節決定成敗
ETS給出的對于獨立寫作高分文章的評分標準中，有這樣一句話：
“Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.”
也就是說，一篇出色的文章應該得到很好的組織和發展，并運用清晰恰當的說理、舉例以及細節(details)來加以論證;這也就是我們常說的擺道理、講事實。因而，對于托福獨立寫作，舉例論證是不可或缺的論證方式，獨立寫作的分論點，理應有事例來支撐。
經常有同學會問，一個好例子的標準是什么呢?依筆者看來，一個好的事例要包含細節，陳述翔實。細節既包括事件的前因后果，也包含對于身份、時間等靜態信息的描述。接下來，筆者將重點探討能發揮大作用的兩種小細節：名字和數字。
I. 名字
名字不僅指事例中的人名(身份)和地名，也包括行業名、公司名以及品牌名等等。名字的使用，一方面可以使得文章的信息表述更明確、準確，另一方面也可以使語言更加生動。
參照下面的簡單對比，名字這類細節的作用顯露無疑：
My best friend works in an e-commerce company. (general description)
My best friend, Johnson, works in Alibaba. (description with name)
My best friend, Johnson, works in Alibaba, China’s leading e-commerce corporation. (description with name and place)
因此，若同學們在舉例論證時能把人名、地名、品牌等具體信息表述清楚，將會極大地提升語言的可讀性和可信性。以下面一段為例：
[Sub-point]Mobile games, which you may be highly familiar with, have prevailed for years and now they serve as the main approach for young people to relax and reduce pressure. [Exemplification] Pokemon, the most popular game recently, is overwhelming the globe at a speed beyond imagination. In many public places of big cities like New York, London and Tokyo, young people gather and look for small creatures with their cellphones. [Analysis] Mixing the virtual and real worlds together, Pokemon provides the players something they can enjoy anywhere and it is a pit-stop in daily routines.
不難看出，這一段中，因為使用了游戲的名字Pokemon以及紐約倫敦等大都市，例子變得極其真實具體，引發讀者共鳴的同時，又能很好地服務于文章論證。
II. 數字
同樣的，文章中數字的運用，可以使論證變得更加準確，更具說服力。數字的使用既含列考生常用的列數據，也包括對時間、年齡和數量的描述。以下面一段為例：
[Sub-point] Big cities present young people with plenty of career opportunities. [Explanation] Thanks to the developed public transit, geographical advantage and compelling economic policies, big cities become where companies, big or small, tend to gather. [Exemplification] Take Shanghai as an example. Over 300 multinational companies (out of the Fortune 500) from all industries, ranging from finance to auto manufacturing, have their branches or subsidiaries in this metropolis, creating millions of job opportunities for people, especially the young. Every year more than 1 million college graduates flood into this place of dream, hoping to find a suitable job and that one day they will have their own career and gain a foothold here.
在上段中，作者并沒有單調地分析大城市具有何種優勢從而吸引到尋求工作機會的年輕人，而是列舉了幾個事實的數字：超過300家500強企業，數以百萬計的工作機會，每年超過100萬的來滬求職者。這些數據的使用，使得文章的說服力上了一個等級，與只有單調說理而沒有數字的論證相比，高下立判。
以上，是筆者對于名字和數字兩種小細節的簡單探討。好的舉例論證，既讓說理顯得充實、強勢，又讓語言變得生動、靈活，很好的增強文章的可讀性。各位考生在平時的練習中，應該注意對于各種素材的掌握和積累，這樣在考場上才能厚積薄發、熟練運用。
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